If I Knew Then

a poem by thenorm

If I knew Then

That it meant something to you;

Neither a laugh nor a joke,

I would have let you in.

If I knew Then

That my momentary weakness

Brought you pleasure

It would not have caused

You pain.

But I put myself

In the middle of the room,

In places where I had to go

And could not hold my head.

I was a Fool.

I was too afraid to be

Enlightened.

I swore I’d never be

A Fool

Again.

I was so certain

That you would be laughing

And I

The Laughingstock.

I was so certain

You were only looking

For a Jester,

Just looking for a Fool.

And I was too afraid to be

Enlightened.

I swore

Dammit

I would never be

A Fool

Again.